Traveling With My Lil Guys Pt. III

We finally left North Carolina. My youngest slept the entire way. My oldest waited for us to land to fall asleep. But we finally made it to Alabama. This is my second home.  

To see my boys run around I the same yard I grew up running around in was a beautiful thing.  

Now to see how they are for a week as opposed to a few days shall be interesting.

Traveling With My Guys Pt. II

So we had a little wait at the airport in NC. Now on my ticket it said what gate and what time.  As we are at that gate I see these other flights boarding and don't see ours. So I go look ath monitor for all departing flights and see that ours was delayed but same gate. As the new time approaches I see other cities at our gate. I go back to the monitor gate was changed. No notification and I have anxious boys on my hands.

Needless to say we weren't that far from the new gate and made it in enough time. We are currently on tour flight headed to our final destination for our vacation aka our Family Reunion. So excited to see my family and eat some good southern food.

Traveling With My Lil Guys Pt. I

As I type this I am an airplane traveling to Alabama with my two lil guys. We have a connecting flight in North Carolina.  Now preparing for this trip was very easy, less stressful than preparing for a solo trip, well at least that's what I think.

When it came to packing our suitcase, I used a big one.  We will only be gone for a week but I packed for eight days.  I rolled all of our clothes and our personal effects were kindly placed in the middle of our clothes.  When it came to checking in our luggage, we weighed in at 47.5lbs.  Our carry-ons have extra outfits, their games and for me my reading material and my music. I also have a first-aid kit, boogie wipes, handi-wipes, ear plugs, gum and lollipops and their snacks.  This mommy is prepared.

When we took off they were really good. I put ear plugs in their ears so that the pressure wouldn't bother them. As we took off, they looked out of the window very excited.  I'm shocked yet very impressed.

Like I said we have have a connecting flight in North Carolina so that should be very interesting.  Until then...

W.T.F.

Facebook is way that we can re-connect or connect with friends. Facebook is a place where we can share moments and often crazy thoughts. Facebook also gives you the option to send direct messages and chat with people.

Recently I received a direct message from a friend who is rarley on Facebook and someone who I really haven't spoken to on there or even on the phone. Now I speak to about 95% of the people on here via phone, texting and/or direct messaging. This person sent me a direct message stating that they needed a huge favor. Now I'm thinking maybe they need me to bake something for at the last minute. They leave their number and I call back.

Now I haven't spoken to this person well pretty much since high school and that's been over 20 years. When I call this person, they give me their story, they hit a rough patch and now have gotten back on their feet but not fully. I'm pretty sure you know what their question was right? Well if you don't, they asked to borrow a significant amount of money. Yes I haven't spoken to this person in 20 years, we are friends on Facebook and this person makes rare appearances on my timeline. They gave me the reason to why they needed the money. My mom always said, if you can't afford it, then you don't need it. Downgrading isn't always a bad thing.

This person said they chose me because of my inspirational quotes. None of which state that I got financial riches. I let them kow that it wasn't in my means to help. Then the person texted back, "do you think a fraction of what I asked is doable?"

W.T.F?!

Dreaming Again

Had a dream.
Lost a dream.

Remembered a dream.
Forgotten a dream.

Won a dream.
Loss a dream.

Dreaming all over again.

Everything & Everyone

While everything & everyone
is just fine,
I'm still wanting what's mine.
Seems like I'm fighting & searching
to find that dream.
It ain't that hard but I still wanna scream.
Have I been on the same road?
Or, just adding more to the load?

While everything & everyone
is just fine,
I'm still wanting what's
destined to be mine.
The path that I'm on doesn't
seem to be right.
So now I must take a break &
refocus my light.
On this break, I will re-route and
re-plan,
Cause I'm about that dream
life maaaaan.

While everything & everyone
is just fine,
I'm getting what's destined to
be mine.

Lately

Lately,
I've been feeling a feeling
that sometimes I can't explain.
The feeling makes me feel all
types of ways.
This feeling motivates me to
push forward and at the same time
makes me wanna stop.

Lately,
I've been feeling a feeling
that makes me want to get back
into that zone.
That zone that makes me
move from lane to lane as I
focus to get off at that
exit where everything is possible.

Lately,
I've bee feeling that feeling
that talks to me & tells me
everything is going to be ok,
just as long as I believe.

Lately,
I've been feeling that feeling
that lets me know everything
is going to be just fine.

Proud Mom

Today, well actually if you are reading this, yesterday I went to my oldest sons moving up ceremony.  He just completed pre-kindergarten.  I thought that I was going to be emotional but I kept my composure.  I guess because I have another son two years behind him.  I think when they are both getting on the school us together is when I will become emotional.

Everyday since he started pre-kindergarten he'd come home with something new and exciting to tell me.  From learning about dinosaurs to everything about the ocean.  All of his paintings are up and on the walls from the kitchen to my little work area.  He'd also talk about what he and his little friends did.  The one thing that always made him happy is when he's able to be a teacher's helper.  Towards the end of the school year they had show and share and he looked forward to that day.

I loved picking him up because he'd run and jump into my arms shouting 'mommy'.  Hearing him talk, watching him play with his trains and just having a simple conversation with this kid amazes me.  He's smarter than he knows, which I think he actually knows.

So this summer he prepares for kindergarten and I'm so excited.  What's so funny is that he is ready and every morning asks am I going to take him to the bus-stop.  I dont't know if he's(me) ready for that yet.  But if he is, then I must prepare my self.

Kids grow up so fast but mine seem to going at a faster rate than I want but it is life.  I must say though, I am a proud mom.

7 Things To Give Up

7 Things To Give Up

1. People pleasing

2. Doubting yourself

3. Negative thinking

4. Fear of Failure

5. Criticizing yourself

6. Saying yes when you want to say know

7. Procrastination

I recently saw this post on Facebook and realized that I have these seven habits listed above.  

The one that I know I had the biggest problem with is #6.  That problem mainly arises when it comes to my parents.  When I have things to do, instead of saying that I had something to do, I'd say I didn't have anything to do and do whatever it is that they would ask.  Now If I I have something to do, I let them know.  I do what I have to do and then do what they ask.

I don't think I've been a people pleaser, just a parent pleaser.  People are going to think what they want and that's their right.  As long as my family, most importantly my kids, as long as they are happy, then I'm good.

There are many times when I doubt myself but then I go against my doubts

I've never been a negative thinker, I always see a half full cup.

I'm not afraid of failure because I learn from it. 

Criticizing myself.....for me that's just constructive criticism.  We can always improve on something that we do, whether it's eating healthier, exercise or even a hobby.

Now for that procrastination one...ugh, I guess I'll write about it later...lol. Seriously I'm getting much better.  I like to organize then begin working on whatever it is that I'm working on.  I've been organizing for the last three years.  As of lately I've just been diving into things. Well actually, I re-organized everything so now I can just dive into everything.

So where are you at with giving up these 7 things?

What Am I Afraid Of?

I'm afraid of many things such as snakes, tarantulas and anything else creepy and crawly and poisonous.  I'm also afraid of anything that can catch me and tear me apart.

I'm afraid of not being the best parent that I can be or my kids.

I'm afraid that I will never experience true happiness.  But I do know I I order for me to experinence true happiness, both my mind and heart have to be right and exactly on the same page.

I'm also afraid of success. Why?  I don't know.  I know that I can handle it because I've had success before.  For some reason I feel that I can be very successful in whatever that I decide to put my mind to.  It's a higher level of success thT I'm afraid of. I know that I shouldn't be but I am.  As I sit here and think about it and why, I actually have no real reason.  I think when that level of success is reached it will be at that moment when I overcome that fear.  So I will work and do whatever is that I have to do to reach and confront.

So what are you afraid of?

Energizer Bunnies

This past weekend was a very busy weekend.  I have two boys and their birthdays are nine days apart. My youngest's birthday is at the end of June and my oldest, nine days later.  Normally we have parties for them around the time of their birthdays but this year we had their party early.

They both attend the same daycare/school. My youngest was in the toddler room but now in the pre-school room and the oldest is in the universal pre-k room.  So that naturally means they have different friends but the oldest's friends know the younger one.  With that being said we invited kids from both rooms.

We had their party at a place called Billy Beez where, they could run around, go through mazes on the floor and up top.  They ran, jumped, ran some more, climbed and ran some more.  It was fun and they were crazy.  

All the kids had a great time.  Some of the kids were asleep on their way out, so I'm pretty sure on the ride home they fell asleep, unlike my two lil guys.  On the ride home they were just interested in getting home, opening up gifts and getting to the park to play.  We got home, they opened and played with their gifts.  I took them to our playground and they ran around.  I decided to take them for a ride with the hopes of them falling asleep.  Not these guys.  I took them back to the playground and then home.

My youngest fell asleep sometime between 10 - 10:30. The oldest, well let's just say I feel asleep before him. Oh and they were up at 8 that morning.  I can say that they has a great time.  Every year my oldest says that "it's going to be the bestest party ever."  As long as they are happy then that's all that matters.  That's what mommy duty is all about.

Future, Past or Present?

If you could choose to live in the future, past or present, which one would you choose? I think that I would have to stick with the present. I would want to stay in the present because I have two lil guys and I wouldn't want to rush their 'growing up'. I also have my own aspirations and so much more that I have to learn as well as things that I want to learn. I just wouldn't want to get there. The past has helped me become who I am today. It may have screwed me up a little bit but I'm here.

My past was very interesting. I had a great time discovering my self sort to speak. I've also met some good people. I experienced life the way that I have seen in movies and read about in books. I've put myself in situations that could have cost me my life but I survived. In most cases street smarts always beat book smarts. Now would I want to experience them again? Maybe. I'd just want to go back to specific moments. I wouldn't want to re-live all.

Again, I wouldn't want to go to the future because I don't want to miss a day of my lil guys growing up. So living in the present is good enough for me. It gives me something to look forward to in the future.

Peoples Opinions

Do I care too much about what people think? That is a very good question. I say that it is interesting only because I don't let people in on what is going on in my life. Well I let some people in, the ones that matter.

If I have "friends" who really don't pay attention to me when I'm trying to share something and they don't listen why would I open up to someone else? People do think that they can look at you and assume that they know what's going on in your life but they can't.

At the end of the day people are going to talk and say what they want. What they eat don't make me shit and vice versa. We all have our opinions and we are entitled to them. What you think of me is what you think of me. Do I care? No. Not really.

So again, do I care too much about what people think of me? Nope not at all. It's what I think about myself that is most important to me.

Am I Strong Enough?

Am I strong enough for what? When it comes to my boys, I am strong. When it comes to my feelings and beliefs, I'm strong to my self but to others, I'm not strong enough.

When I've had it with people, instead of talking to them, I just distance myself from them. Then in my head, I'm thinking about what I could have said or should have said.

I'm strong enough to make mistakes and learn from them so that I can grow as a person.

I'm strong enough to keep trying until I get it right.

I'm strong enough to believe that if I did it once before, I can do it again.

So at the end of the day, yes I am strong enough.

Are you strong enough?

Re-Examine Pt. II

Every day I examine my life and I ask my self, is this the life I wanted for myself? My answer is an honest no.

I never really wanted kids but wouldn't be mad if I got pregnant and if I got pregnant I wanted a boy. I've been blessed with two beautiful boys that I couldn't imagine my life without. They are two years apart and are truly the loves of my life.

These two boys are also the two reasons why I examine my life damn near every day. Before they came along I was pursuing a dream. I had already started my plan and by the time my first son came I was at M and that's where I've been for the last five years. It feels as though I've given up but I know that I haven't because the passion is still there.

I also always think about what I could have done had I made better choices. What if I didn't go through some of the things that I went through. Would I still have my boys? would I be in my current relationship? Would I be at Z getting ready to start all over again with something new?

Sometimes I think I examine my life too much. I often think what if I had done the opposite of what I did. I don't regret any of my experiences or choices that I've made because those experiences and choices have helped me become the person I am today.

As I sit here and type I'm examining my life now asking my self what am I doing? Did I lose my self in motherhood? If so when? Am I making the right decisions? What am I doing wrong? Don't get it twisted I love my lil guys but before I had them I just pretty much did whatever I wanted to, now I have to think before I do. Now I'm asking my self, am I doing what I can for them? How can I make their tomorrow better than today? What can I do now so that they have a promising future?

Just more questions in my head that makes me re-examine my life. I have examined my life today, yesterday and most likely I will examine my life tomorrow.

Do you examine your life enough?

Re-Examine Pt. I

Sometimes we go through things in life not knowing. Not knowing how we're going to survive. Not knowing how we're going to make it. Not knowing what to expect or not to expect. Some how we do manage to make it through.

We have a plan for ourselves but the Higher power has a different one. We think that we can go straight from A then to B; however, the Higher power throws in some twists and turns just as we are going from A to B.

Fifteen years ago I had a plan for myself. There were a few hiccups but I managed to go from A to Z. Well actually more like from A to M. Once I got to M things took a turn. I'm not going to say for the better or for the worst. Things just took a turn. It was at this point I felt as though the Higher power stepped in with a plan that was/is supposed to go with my plan. I'm currently shaking my head, asking my self "why" and how" as I try to figure it out.

I'm at M trying to get to Z but before I can get ready to go to N, I have to re-examine everything from A to where I am at now at M.

Re-Entering The Blogging World

I started this blog over a thousand times. I've written posts consecutively for a while, then stopped for a year or so. I was so into writing that I shared with the world, well with those who were interested. Some people enjoyed and others, well I don't know about the others but again, I'm back at it.

I am now at a point in my life where I don't know whether or not I'm coming or going. Well actually I know that I'm going, I just don't know my final destination. Actually I do it's just all about the ride. This blog is going to help me navigate.

Follow me as I go on this journey. Our destinations may not be the same but I'm pretty sure that you can relate to the journey.